I get many emails from young mothers, some pregnant with their first child, saying that they are very afraid of giving birth naturally. They think they cannot cope with the pain. Some are so scared that they state they would never even consider to give birth naturally. The fact that they sit down and write shows me that deep inside they wish they would. Maybe they hope that I will dissolve their doubts and fears? I can’t. The only thing I can do, is to encourage you to “dig deep inside”, to listen closely to your inner voice that will tell you your truth! And if, on this path, you encounter some of your fears – well, meet them, look them into the eyes, explore why they are there.
Birth is a natural process! We women are built for it. We are not – originally – designed to have a cesarian. The mind created a great emergency-tool that helped a lot of children to come to this physical plane. Without cesarian many children (and mothers) would not be alive. However, the emphasis in my view lies on the word EMERGENCY.
On a physical level birth can be a painless, ecstatic transition – yes, painless, I have experienced this with my son Noa. While researching for my book Geburt – Wiederentdeckung des weiblichen Weges I met an African healer and shaman. I asked her about herbs and medicinal plants that would help with labour pain, and I will never forget the surprised look in her eyes when she said: “Pain, why pain? Birth is not painful.”
But what about all those horrifying stories about hours and hours of pain? Fear creates tension, on a physical and emotional level. And tension creates pain, on a physical and emotional level. So if we deal with our inner fears – face them, embrace them, allow them to be, BE with them – we can create a fear-less and therefore pain-less birth.
Our children will help us with this.
For all moms and moms-to-be out there (and for all dads, too, of course!), please try the following:
1. Find out what mind-pictures/pre-conceptions you have in regards to giving birth (e.g. are your friends, relatives, doctor, etc. telling you how painfull birth can be and that you have to be well prepared and know about all the risks, etc., etc.?). If you have a rather negative perception of birth (which is likely, otherwise you would not need to think about this), be aware of it. Allow it to be there, to come into the light of (your) consciousness. Talk with your baby about it! They will understand and be prepared.
2. Imagine your “dream-birth”. How would you want to welcome your child if your fears and worries would not be an issue? In a hospital environment or somewhere else? Imagine it in every detail and let your thoughts run free! Be aware that you have a choice. You can and will create your reality according to your thoughts, mind-pictures and expectations.
3. Communicate with your unborn child. For some this might sound strange. Just play around with it. Your child will love it – he/she is waiting for it! Let your gut feeling guide you. There is no recipe or how-to-guide: some just talk to the child, some close their eyes and write down what they “hear”, some play music, create art work/paintings, etc. We are all different. The important thing is: DO IT! Get in contact with your child in any way you feel drawn to. Ask him/her questions! The answers will come. Always. Be open to their form. You might receive thoughts, ideas, “hear” a voice inside of you, draw something – the forms are as diverse as we are.
Birth is a natural process! We women are built for it. We are not – originally – designed to have a cesarian. The mind created a great emergency-tool that helped a lot of children to come to this physical plane. Without cesarian many children (and mothers) would not be alive. However, the emphasis in my view lies on the word EMERGENCY.
On a physical level birth can be a painless, ecstatic transition – yes, painless, I have experienced this with my son Noa. While researching for my book Geburt – Wiederentdeckung des weiblichen Weges I met an African healer and shaman. I asked her about herbs and medicinal plants that would help with labour pain, and I will never forget the surprised look in her eyes when she said: “Pain, why pain? Birth is not painful.”
But what about all those horrifying stories about hours and hours of pain? Fear creates tension, on a physical and emotional level. And tension creates pain, on a physical and emotional level. So if we deal with our inner fears – face them, embrace them, allow them to be, BE with them – we can create a fear-less and therefore pain-less birth.
Our children will help us with this.
For all moms and moms-to-be out there (and for all dads, too, of course!), please try the following:
1. Find out what mind-pictures/pre-conceptions you have in regards to giving birth (e.g. are your friends, relatives, doctor, etc. telling you how painfull birth can be and that you have to be well prepared and know about all the risks, etc., etc.?). If you have a rather negative perception of birth (which is likely, otherwise you would not need to think about this), be aware of it. Allow it to be there, to come into the light of (your) consciousness. Talk with your baby about it! They will understand and be prepared.
2. Imagine your “dream-birth”. How would you want to welcome your child if your fears and worries would not be an issue? In a hospital environment or somewhere else? Imagine it in every detail and let your thoughts run free! Be aware that you have a choice. You can and will create your reality according to your thoughts, mind-pictures and expectations.
3. Communicate with your unborn child. For some this might sound strange. Just play around with it. Your child will love it – he/she is waiting for it! Let your gut feeling guide you. There is no recipe or how-to-guide: some just talk to the child, some close their eyes and write down what they “hear”, some play music, create art work/paintings, etc. We are all different. The important thing is: DO IT! Get in contact with your child in any way you feel drawn to. Ask him/her questions! The answers will come. Always. Be open to their form. You might receive thoughts, ideas, “hear” a voice inside of you, draw something – the forms are as diverse as we are.
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