I meet many mums (and dads) who are worried and nervous at best or terrified at worst when they think of giving birth now. I also meet many mums (and dads) who are not, but they don’t need any advice or support in this regard. “What a disaster to give birth during a pandemic”, a mum said recently. She felt she needed the support of a hospital environment in order to be able to give birth safely. Like so many others she didn’t feel the confidence that she is able to give birth naturally, without the assistance of a medical system. This belief is widely spread and not only a phenomenon during the current Covid-19 scenario. In the last decade, I have seen an increasing number of women who have lost confidence in their ability to give birth naturally, without medical intervention. Growing up in urban settings, far away from places where we can watch other community members or other mammals (cows, horses, goats, sheep, dogs, cats) giving birth, doesn’t help. As we all know, our beliefs have an impact on our life experience. If I believe I cannot climb a mountain, I most likely will never even attempt to do it – or I will interpret every difficult step uphill as evidence that I cannot do it, thus proving myself right in the end.
In my view, the belief that we cannot give birth without medical assistance isn't serving us very well - and we can see the effects of it reflected in the panic of mothers in connection with giving birth during a pandemic.
 
Please bear in mind – and I will repeat this again and again in this article – that we are mammals and that women are designed to give birth. Otherwise none of us would be here right now.
 
If you are worried, terrified or anything in between, consider the following: Imagine that you are about to participate in an event that requires your full focus, presence and capacities on a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual level. In my courses I often compare it to a sports event, e.g. running a marathon., Even if this metaphor isn’t 100% correct as women are designed by evolution to give birth naturally, but not necessarily to run a marathon, I would like to use it nevertheless to illustrate a few key points:
 
1) Nobody can run a marathon for you. Not your coach, not your physio, not your partner. They can support and encourage you, but in the end you have to run the race yourself. Your body needs to have the stamina to sustain the stresses and strains, your mind needs to be strong enough to keep you going and motivated through the hard parts, you need to be able to navigate through your emotional ups and downs, and your spiritual power will guide you and support you during your strenuous efforts. It’s all about YOU - and your baby, of course!
This might be in itself a scary realization. However, I repeat: your body has been designed for giving birth.
 
2) If you are reasonably healthy, you can do it!
 
3) Prepare yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, this will help you immensely, especially during the “race”.
You don’t need anybody for this and can do it on your own. Especially if you need to (e.g. during lockdown or if for other reasons you don't have any other support). If you have internet access, there are, however, a lot of resources available to assist and inspire you.
 
Physically: e.g. nutrition, regular exercise/movement, breath awareness (= long slow breaths naturally relax the nervous system, bring more oxygen into the muscle system and reduce adrenaline output, etc) - I won't go into detail here, as there is so much good information available. Don't feel you need to go overboard - keep it simple and enjoyable!
 
Mentally: Think positive! We all perform best, when we uplift ourselves and boost our confidence. Surround yourself with positivity. A good coach won’t unsettle the athlete pre-event by talking about all the things that could possibly go wrong or tell him or her stories of injuries, depletion and giving up. Humans are the only species I can think of that scares their females when it comes to their ability to give birth.
If you are someone who tends to worry about things, learn some easy tools to calm your thoughts and to lift your spirits. It can be as simple as conscious breathing; hypnosis techniques and other tools are also helpful – there are plenty of things available. Anything that calms your nerves and thoughts is fine. Pick and choose what works for you!
 
Note:

• Don’t suppress your fears and worries. Allow them to come up, familiarise yourself with them so that they cannot hijack you when you need to keep calm and centred, and, if needed, process them with someone who is balanced and able to offer support. Don’t listen to stories/advice/recommendations that drag you down.
• Observe yourself closely, feel yourself and find things that inspire, encourage and uplift you.
• Trust your intuition.

 
Emotionally: Due to fluctuations in the hormone system during pregnancy you might experience a rollercoaster of emotions (= energy in motion). In general, our emotions are valuable indicators and signs to follow. They show us when we need to be gentle with ourselves, when to rest, when to move away, what’s good for us and what’s not. Observe your emotions and their triggers. Someone might tell you a story that makes you feel sad, angry, insecure, confused, overwhelmed… Or it might make you feel excited, confident, joyful, relaxed, trusting, peaceful, empowered… Look closely – and choose things that uplift and empower you while trying to avoid things and people who make you feel uneasy, unwell, insecure, etc. (If this brings up conflict, ask the people in question to leave “difficult” conversations until after the birth and to support and respect your “feel-good bubble” – set clear boundaries and if they want to support you, they will respect them.)
 
Spiritually: No matter if we have a spiritual practice or not: we are always connected to spiritual energies, to the life-giving source of all that exists. To consciously call upon our connection to “the spiritual realm” is important to gain trust and a feeling of “inner knowing” that “I am not alone” and that “whatever happens, happens”. This gives us strength and stamina and guidance whenever we need them. Studies have shown that people with a spiritual faith or worldview cope far better with challenging situations and life-threatening experiences than people without. You don’t need to follow a religion or particular faith. You can connect to Spirit and activate your spiritual power in many other ways, e.g. by being in nature, listening to your inner voice, meditating. Your unborn child can also assist you to establish a connection.
 
Please know:

• If you are reasonably healthy and consider the 3 key factors briefly outlined above, you will have the base covered to give birth to your child(ren). You can do this on your own, if you needed to. If you live in an industrialised country, you will most likely have the support of your midwife and, in an emergency, of an obstetrician and an experienced emergency intervention team. When worrying, please remind yourself: If you need hospital assistance, it generally takes about 10-20 minutes to prepare the theatre for an emergency intervention – in most cases you will have enough time to be transferred from your home to the hospital via helicopter or ambulance, so that you and your baby get the medical help you need.
• If you are overwhelmed by your fears and worries, talking to someone who is in a balanced state of mind, experienced and able to bring out the best in you often does wonders.

 
P.S.: For those with pathological symptoms such as (but not limited to) Preeclampsia, be aware that we thankfully live in a time when there is medical support available for many of us. If you have to be in medical care, most likely it will be accessible to you - even in challenging conditions such as in war countries or during a pandemic. The points above are beneficial and relevant in any case.
 
P.P.S.: In my experience, most “high risk” factors can be remedied with “close observation” and rest. Stress and worrying don't help, of course. I often meet mums classified as “high risk”, sometimes given preventative medication (which in return often leads to implications that require emergency interventions), when they and their baby clearly aren’t in danger (yet). So if you are told you are “high risk”, please get a second, third (or even more) opinion. You probably would in case of any other important medical condition/decision such as surgery, etc – at least I hope you would. So do it for your birth as well. After all it is your baby, your health, your choice! 
Also observe yourself closely: are you feeling unwell? What does your “gut-feeling” say? When given time to explore those questions, mums often tell me that they “feel ok” and are just “alarmed and confused” by the medical diagnosis. Deep down you know more than you might think. If you are a woman, then your body has been designed to give birth… and you carry the evolutionary knowledge of your ancestors.

I hope this article gives you some indications and opens some doors to explore more and to boost your confidence. Much love and encouragement to you all - you have got this!

​Since I can remember, I always loved the darkness of the night. The dark enwrapped me like a velvety cloak. I felt safe and comfortable. As a child I sat in the dark in our garden, between the trees, watching the shadows dance in the moonlight. Sometimes scary monsters appeared – but I could watch them from the safety of the dark… They would growl at me and scare me – until they eventually became familiar and were no longer frightening. As a teenager I went for long walks in the dark forests next to our house. My mum tried to convince me that it was a dangerous place to be, but I couldn’t relate. In the light of the city where everybody could see me, I felt so much more exposed and unsafe than in the dark embrace of the woods. Who would see me here? Who could find me, if I ran away and hid behind the trees? I knew the dark forests so well and was sure that I was well protected in my hiding spots.
I never felt the need to take a torch or any form of light. I see like a cat in the dark – and my feet and other senses guide my way. I don’t like it when people take a light source at night. It blocks my ability to “see in the dark”. 

As a young child I was often ask why I am not afraid of the dark. I was! I used to have very terrifying encounters. However, I always felt safer at night than during the day. Most people have an innate fear of the dark that stems from a time when the night was the time when predators were hunting threatening their lives. During the night our “connection channels” to spirit world (the realities beyond the material world) are opening, and we can get a glimpse of “the whole bigger picture of life”. Most humans slow down at night, and there is less distraction through busy activities. Embracing the treasures of the darkness, letting the shadows arise and dancing with them, opening up to spirit world and receiving insights and guidance all are an integral and essential part of my life. For me, a lot of strength and resilience come out of the dark.
 
Darkness and light are intimately linked and belong together.
It is interesting to me that there are so many “light workers” and very few “shadow or darkness workers” in our modern societies. A lot of people shy away from darkness, and the power of darkness often seems to go unrecognized.
​
Dark deep waters, the blackness of the night hold treasures for me that I deeply cherish. During the night I get my deepest insights. The essence of most of my books is written in the early hours before sunrise. The darkness of the night holds magic for me. My perception, my senses work differently. Everything slows down – and is heightened and accelerated at the same time. Darkness brings a clarity that I rarely find in the light of the day. There is a deep sense of peace and stillness and calm arising out of the darkness. 

​As a baby we are born out of the darkness of the womb into the light. The womb is the seat of our intuition and the link to other life forms. Each night we have the opportunity to go back into the womb of the night, growing, evolving and dreaming, before we are born into the light of the day.
Shadows are visible during the day – at night my shadow being is dissolving into the darkness. I melt into the darkness – and am reborn with every new day into the light. 

When we run...
... we don't notice the small things.
... we are too fast to become aware of signs and indicators that show us "other ways".
... we have to pay attention to our own steps and are focussed on the path in front of us - and only when we tumble, we might slow down.
... we don't see what's around us, past us, left and right of us.
... we need to sustain ourselves to keep up the fast pace and don't have much capacity to look out or after others.
... we miss the small tracks on the of the road and are more likely to follow the "beaten track" as it is easier to see and we are more familiar with it.

Slowing down is one of the first lessons I learned to incorporate when sharing with other humans, for example, in a workshop or at a conference. I learned it from non-human teachers. Sitting with birds, trees, dogs, horses, rivers, lakes, the ocean...
Swimming with dolphins, whales, sea lions...
Listening to the winds, the waters, the fire, the sound of fellow earthlings...

I noticed that many people find it not easy to slow down. Yet it is a prerequisite to receive, to regenerate, to replenish. Many of us are eager to learn, eager to spend our time "efficiently and productively" - and in order to feel that way, we need to do something... we need to keep our body and mind busy.
Mindfulness, Yoga in all its various forms, TM, shamanic journeying... there are more and more people busying themselves to learn and teach those "modalities". 
Yet... I rarely see what my teachers gave me: the opportunity to slow down, completely, to become still, completely, to overcome my desire, my need to do - and to drop into beingness, completely. And out of that beingness comes the gift of intuitive knowing, the gift of feeling, the gift of alignment with life-giving energies...

It was a "hard" path for me - as I was running so fast. My teachers refused to teach me in the way I wanted and expected to be taught! They sent me home, in the forest, in the garden, on the water... I felt offended, hurt, maybe I wasn't worthy enough to be taught? And it took me a while to accept their gifts as my mind told me I was just wasting my time, and theirs... and "getting nowhere". I thought I wasn't very efficient and productive on my "spiritual path". 
Until I gave in, allowed myself to slow down, to sit, to breathe, to observe, to feel, to become aware... For years... decades... I am still journeying, at a much slower pace... 

In these times, when we transition into the next cycle towards balance, merging doing (male energy) with being (female energy), we need to be aware that our female pole (being) isn't equally developed as our male pole (doing) due to patriarchal structures. The "rise of the feminine" implicates that we re-member and re-integrate female qualities. We all know... but like with everything: at a beginner's stage it is wise to slow down, to allow the seed to be held and nurtured - until it arises from the soil, as a natural consequence...

Many are so used to follow instructions, to fit into systems, to look for templates that they often forget to tune in and to double-check: is this template, this system, this method, this concept aligned with the essence of what I am called to do? Does it fit me? My family? My clients? My employees? My community?

No doubt, templates can be useful - if they are in sync with their original purpose and if they are updated and adjusted regularly to changing needs and demands.

I see business owners market their products in ways that do not in the least relate to the people who buy their services. I see educational institutions teach in ways that do not take the needs and requirements of the students (and teachers) into consideration. I see health care providers offer services that follow standardised procedures instead of tuning into "the bigger picture" to enable people to find sustainable balance and health. I see shamanic practitioners, energy workers, religious leaders, gurus spread concepts and ideas vehemently upholding that their way is the high way...

Instead of tuning in... opening up... becoming aware of what's "in the room", of the requirements of the present moment... and of the "bigger picture"...
Instead of listening... and observing... being still for a while, holding space for what wants to come up and show itself...

We are very fast - so we miss things along the path.
We think we "got it" - so we miss the subtle nuances that help us to fine-tune our senses and perception.
We are used to instant gratification - so we don't allow time to sit and develop vital skills and abilities that arise with regular practice and over time.

Stand still.
Listen and feel.
Be & come... home...
And the channels will open, gradually, and you will get your tuition from within - creating your own "templates" to follow...