A lot of the challenges and imbalances we can observe amongst people in modern societies have their roots in the fact that we often don’t know where our place is - within a group, society, nature, the universe. This affects us on all levels, physical, mental, emotional and spiritual, and leads to a lot of confusion, an identity crisis that brings disorientation, restlessness and unhappiness.
Our parenting and educational systems mostly take away our innate sense of belonging. We learn that we are only accepted, valued, respected, if we fulfil certain conditions. Unconditional love and respect is rare amongst human groups around the planet. We establish systems that make cooperation almost impossible and are not aiming at collective problem-solving but at a struggle for power and dominance. Our attempts to artificially re-create a sense of “my place”, of belonging, through ranking systems, religions, and other structures don’t work as these human created systems mostly don’t represent individual realities.
If you are connected to nature and live a sustainable natural life, there is a kind of natural ranking, a “sorting process” that gives you your place according to your abilities (physical, mental, emotional structure and personality). Your natural “rank” may change over time due to changes of group dynamics, new skills, natural learning processes, etc. There is a natural “evolution” and development, and your place in the bigger picture will change accordingly.
However, it is essential that you feel valued and respected for who you are.
In our modern societies a lot of people don’t feel that. They strive for being valued and respected – and are told that they will get there by being awarded and assessed. But what they get is not what they want and need. It doesn’t still their hunger for respect and acknowledge-ment. Award-winning students know that they are not valued because of who they are, but because of their ability to conform, fit it, memorize and repeat knowledge, work harder than others in a certain subject, etc. And those who didn’t get an award feel incompetent and see themselves as a failure. The result is devastating: people who lack self-confidence and/or are trained to believe that they can gain self-esteem through competitiveness and dominance.
We are all born with an inner sense of self-respect and self-esteem. If we can manage to raise our children without destroying and manipulating their innate sense of self-worth, we will see fundamental changes happen in our societies: the happiness and creativity levels will rise, both individually and communally.
Please check-out holisticlearning.weebly.com and our group Ako-a-rongo.